The Hanger

I’m sent up          by the county clerk          through the institutional beige 

                  and forest green          of the Supreme Court building          to a room

where          above the counter          a hanger is hooked          into a ceiling panel                 

                  Taped to the bottom wire          is a piece of paper          on which 

                                   written plainly by hand          appears the word

                                                                                                       DIVORCE
                            __________________________________
 

I queue up          grateful for the long line

                                                                             the sudden sense          of stranger solidarity

                  glad for the drab slab          of a building 

                                                   walls thick enough          to absorb          many shocks

relieved and recognized          by that janky sign

                                                                                         like a crass Halloween costume 

                  about abortion          worn by a bureaucrat          in the off season

                            __________________________________
 

I don’t know why          this place holds me better

                  than any strange room          I’ve entered          these last few years

                                   hospital conference rooms          church basements                                  

where I came to see          grief sitting silently          everywhere                 

                  the force of the towers          falling          still trembling                 

                                   through the city          in aftershocks

                            __________________________________
 

It must be          the barebones practicality          the decisiveness         

                  the silent camaraderie          melting me          as we slowly shuffle

When it’s my turn          I hand over the paper          signed and notarized

                  The exchange is fast          and dignified          “the Brooklyn way”

though he tells me          my file won’t be processed          for many months

                  The backlog’s thick          at the busiest court          in the state

                             __________________________________
 

The flyer I saw          above the water fountain          months ago            

                  when I came to file          the separation agreement          read 

                                                                                                       DIY DIVORCE

And though I didn’t expect          that final room          to also feel                 

                  so makeshift          it was true          I was involved                 

in a home improvement project          true          it would take months          or years                 

                  to process          and true          I had barely          three hundred dollars 

                                   to spare          but knew how to do things          myself